Our best buds threw us a co-ed baby shower this week. It was a perfect party — lots of good friends and cute kids, a ton of food and booze, and a pile of presents.

To keep folks entertained, our friend Erin came up with some great games. First we identified celebrity babies (I am ashamed to admit I won this game), then we identified songs with the word “baby” in them. But my favorite game was “Matt or Kate?” Our family supplied stories from our youth, Erin removed our names, and friends had to guess who did what. Let’s see how well you do:

1. This person spilled a box of instant mashed potato flakes and tried to mop it up with hot water, resulting in a sea of spuds in the middle of the kitchen floor.

2. This person forced a sister into a fireplace with a butcher knife, and when discovered, said they were playing “lion tamer.”

If anything, the Matt-or-Kate game should illustrate that one of us is adorably clueless and the other should be behind bars. In my defense, my sister Cean was pretending to be a lion and I couldn’t find a whip to tame her, so I had to improvise. My hand was forced!

Anyway, the important thing is that we scored a lot of great baby loot. Here are some of our favorites that you can pick up for yourself online.

Puj Tub


This tub lies flat when you’re not using it, so you can store it basically anywhere — under a mattress, in the oven, up the chimney, down your pants leg. Anywhere!

Summer SwaddleMe Blankets


The perfect swaddle is an artform only a few can achieve. These blankets take the guesswork out of wrapping your baby up like a burrito in the hopes that he or she stops yelling at you.

Under the Nile Scrappy Dogs


Unlike our real dogs, these adorable stuffed critters are 100% organic, have an excellent sense of style, and don’t eat their own poop.

Go the F**k to Sleep


This book is hilarious. I’m not sure we’ll be reading it to our kids, but that doesn’t stop me from loving verses like:

The owls fly forth from the treetops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, love.
For real, shut the fuck up and sleep.

My Brest Friend Twin Nursing Pillow

mybrestfriendWhy nurse one baby when you can nurse two? This sturdy  pillow props up two babies at once, saving you lots of time in the feeding department. What’s that, you say? I have three babies to feed? Crap.

Angel Baby Shampoo

Soon enough, our boys will smell like frogs, boogers, and Drakkar Noir. But for now, I will insist they smell like fresh, soapy oranges.

Mysterio Infant T-Shirts


According to Mysterio, we will have a dog show judge, kung fu champion, and a donut tycoon on our hands. Things could be worse — we could have a lion tamer with a butcher knife.

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