When it comes to gestating triplets, my job is simple. Eat well and often. Rest as much as possible. Drink a ton of water. Take vitamins. Avoid stress.

This week I did the exact opposite. Here’s what happened. Back in September I merged a business I co-owned right around the same time Matt and I began IVF. Both were risky ventures, but the potential payoff was worth it. We ended up maximizing our investment with IVF — three babies for the price of one. But with the new company, the growing pains were more intense.

Owning and operating any business is a rollercoaster, especially in year one. I’ve been through it before, but this time I was lugging a bag of babies around with me. When we hit a particularly rough patch, my stress levels spiked. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and felt like the world’s worst person for subjecting three tiny people to anxiety chemicals and starvation.

After a lot of tossing, turning, and tears, I had to make the tough decision to leave a company I had put a lot of time and energy into, as well as co-workers I really liked and respected. But, once that bitter pill was swallowed, the weight immediately lifted. I was back to being an OG freelancer, hustling for a party of one, making it rain (or keeping it dry) on my own terms. And I have to say, it’s been great to work from home these past couple days. I can write when I feel like it and take 50% less showers. My new office has a bed in it and a nice man who brings me smoothies.

The real bummer this week is that I ended up losing a pound due to all the stress. My whole life I’ve wanted to be the kind of person who can’t eat and becomes beautifully slender when times are tough, but I’ve always managed to put down a 12-inch sub and bag of Doritos while crying over some dumb boy, using an eclair to wipe away my tears. Of course, now that it’s really important for me to not lose weight, I’m dropping lbs. This cannot stand. Next week it’s Operation Fat Face. Somebody get me a calzone-infused cheeseburger with a side of ham sandwich. Mama’s hungry.

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