WEEK 1

There’s this website called Two Week Wait. My friend, Susan, introduced it to me when she was trying to get pregnant. It’s basically a forum where women share their symptoms during the two weeks after ovulation that lead up to getting, or not getting, your period. It’s supposed to help you identify early indicators for pregnancy, but according to TWW, everything is a pregnancy symptom. You could have bananas growing out of your ears and cats for feet and there will be someone on the website who had THE EXACT SAME THING happen to her and it turns out she was pregnant!

I was a real jerk about TWW when I first read it, namely because (a) I’m a jerk and (b) it’s overflowing with emotions, emoticons, and schmaltzy acronyms that require their own glossary. Don’t believe me? Try deciphering this post, entitled “Cold Feet” Sign ?!? [sic]:

Hey, everyone! I wasn’t really “trying” this cycle, I decided to take a lil break because the TWW’s and the BFN’s and the symptom spotting was unbearable. But I did manage to “do the deed” the day of and before O. Not on purpose, at least not consciously anyway hee hee. So up now at 10 DPO I have had symptoms. But the symptoms that I usually think are PG but end up being AF I’m not really having. IDK if it’s because I’m more relaxed or what!

If you find out you are pregnant, you can submit a BFP story. BFP means “big fat positive,” referring to a pregnancy test that tells you and your DH (“dear husband”) that you are PG (“pregnant”) and therefore should not expect to see AF (“Aunt Flo”) for some time. This news may cause you to LMAO (“laugh my ankles off”) and hit your FIL (“father-in-law”) with FUR (“false unicorn root”).

You get the point.

It’s easy to snicker at the community of women on TWW who sprinkle their posts with animated angel emoticons and goofy mantras like, “Baby dust to all!” But once you’ve hit the waiting period, it’s nearly impossible not to rush to the site to hear these same women testify about their sore BBs (breasts) and milky CM (cervical mucus). From the day after our embryo transfer  until the day I got my blood work done 11 days later, I was on TWW every hour. Scanning the posts, I found plenty of evidence that I was pregnant (“BFP with no symptoms!”) and that I was not pregnant. (“BFN with no symptoms!”)

When we  finally got our test results, the first thing I did was hug my husband and cry a bunch. The second thing I did was pen a gushing BFP story on TWW.

Baby dust. Works every time.

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